Couldn't Not Have You
by xoxcathylove
Summary: Newt expresses his feelings towards you after months of fighting them.


Have You

Tripping over your feet, your face becomes an inch close to the ground before you feel Newt's arms wrap around your waist and pull you up to him. Your chests collide against each other's and you freeze. Looking up into his green eyes, you smile.

Here's the thing. You loved Newt. Fucking deeply. And he loved you back. Probably with even more passion. But ever since you confronted him about your obvious feelings, he always brushed it off.

"Y/N. I'm much older than you. And-and someone like you, deserves so much more, so much better than me-me."

"But Newt, I want you."  
And he just shook his head.

Snapping back to reality, your eyes refocused themselves on the blue green ones in front of you. Newt leaned down ever so slightly, staring longingly at your lips. He then shook his head, and backed away.

"We can't." he sighed.

"Why? I don't get it Newt, why can't we be together?" You asked hopelessly.

"It's just… It's wrong. I'm almost a decade older than you."

"And? Age is but a number Newt…"

"Also, I… wouldn't be good enough for you. I'm not. You deserve so much more. You're a wonderful woman, you deserve a wonderful man."

You raised your eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. But he was a wonderful man, you thought. Why couldn't Newt see that he was all you wanted, all you ever needed? That he was the most kind, good man you've ever met?

You were head over heels for the man ever since you met him. The night you met him was inked in your memory clearly. You were out in the city, it was raining and all you were wearing was a white blouse from work. That's when you heard a weird sound, and peering over your shoulder, you saw a bright purple snake slither on the ground. An Occamy, to be more precise. Having always been interested in Magizoology, you recognized the creature at once and rushed to its side. Murmuring soft soothing whispers, you successfully picked it up and sat down with it moving around in your lap comfortably. Its presence made you forget about the horrible weather until a clap of thunder shook the ground. All of a sudden the dreadful feeling of dampness and cold washed over your body once again. With a crack, a man Apparated a few meters away from you. He scanned his surroundings and spotted you sitting in a corner, all wet and cold.

"Miss, are you okay?" He rushed to your side. Then, spotting his Occamy, he blurted out: "Goodness! You found him! Did you-"

"Pet him, of course not. I'd rather keep my fingers on." You chuckled.

"You-you know not to pet Occamies?" He asked unbelievingly.

"Of course, they defend themselves from a very young age. Would do the same if I were them, having shells made out of pure silver." You said absent-mindedly. Newt smiled widely at you. He had never met someone else so knowledgeable over fantastic beasts before. Then, some sense slapped at him, and he realized you were shivering.

"Here, take my jacket." He quickly said, taking off his teal coat and placing it on you. You looked very beautiful, he thought. Even more so, wearing his clothing. Then, you invited him over to your place, you got to know each other very well, he asked you to help him on his journey and well, the rest is history.

Newt cleared his throat, bringing you back to reality.

"Anyway, let's drop it." He shrugged.

The two of you both descended down into his case, you collapsing beside Frank the Thunderbird, sighing heavily. You absent-mindedly petted him, frowning.

Newt glanced over at you guiltily before heading to the opposite end to feed other creatures.

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, thinking. He truly loved you, he did. But you were so young, you didn't deserve to be tied down to someone like him. An awkward antisocial man obsessed with beasts. Oh dammit, he thought. He loved you so much, but he couldn't have you.

Newt always set that idea to himself. That your love would be impossible, forbidden. He did that, because, truly, he was afraid of having a real defined relationship with you. He had never been in a relationship with someone he loved so truly, and he was scared he was going to mess it up with you.

"Hey Y/N, wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure, I could use some fresh air."

"Why don't we go to Hogsmeade for a drink?"

You nodded, agreeing. Walking up to Newt, you wrapped your arm around his and he Apparated the two of you onto the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade Village. A whoosh of cold wind blew into your face and you snuggled up closer to Newt, not letting go of his arm.

You walked for a while, stopping now and then to look at some shops.

"Aw you guys are so cute!" A little Hogwarts student exclaimed at you guys.

"Couple goals!" Her friend cried out, spotting you two.

You chuckled, and looked up at Newt who was blushing furiously.

"OH um, we're not um together." He blubbered.

Your face fell.

"They'll end up together." One of the girls whispered to the other.

"I know right, it's so obvious they love each other."

You continued your way down the cobbled street, Newt thinking to himself. He was very happy, all of a sudden, as if those little girls' comments made him feel lighter. Maybe, he did like the idea of you and him being a couple…

Your walk continued for another couple minutes, Newt pondering to himself furiously. He imagined different scenarios in his head; him being able to call you his girlfriend, him surprising you every morning with showers of kisses. The scenarios all lead him with the same feeling: happiness.

Being with Y/N has made me so happy, he thought. And loving her openly would make me more, he concluded.

He stopped in his tracks, taking you a bit by surprise.

"Y/N?" He nervously shuffled his feet. Shoot, he didn't have anything planned and he didn't imagine a script beforehand that he could follow.

He let his instinct take over.

Brushing a piece of your hair behind your shoulder, he placed both hands on your waist, and before you knew it, he leant down and placed his lips on yours.

You were taken aback, but it only took a fraction of a second for you to put your hands behind his neck and pull him closer to you.

You smiled into the kiss, unbelievably happy that this was actually happening. After god knows how much time, you pulled away. You looked up into those green blue eyes that were looking back at you with so much love.

"So what made you change your mind about the whole us not working thing?" You asked him curiously.

"I just couldn't not have you." Newt replied.

And he bent down to kiss you again, putting months of loving you but not doing anything about it into that kiss.


End file.
